Responding to a complaint that those anti-assault Make Your Move posters are patronizing to women because they don't blame the victim enough enable "eschewing personal responsibility and projecting [their] own mistakes onto the people around [them]" the author over at STFUFauxFeminists was simultaneously blunt, cool, and awesomely inclusive.
Actually, everyone needs protection from their “silly choices” sometimes. People of all genders get too drunk to consent sometimes. And people of all genders take advantage of those situations sometimes. And people of all genders can take actions to check in on these people to make sure that everything is ok. It’s not about projecting mistakes. It’s about encouraging people to take care of each other. If you have a problem with that, you can go fuck yourself.
I like that so much I'm going to divide the core parts of it into a bulleted list for easier reading:
- Everyone needs protection from their “silly choices” sometimes
- People of all genders get too drunk to consent sometimes.
- People of all genders take advantage of those situations sometimes.
- People of all genders can take actions to check in on these people to make sure that everything is ok.
And here's the clincher
- It’s not about projecting mistakes. It’s about encouraging people to take care of each other.
That's pretty cool, right? Not least because (contrary to MRA and anti-feminist dogma) she's at least as concerned and supportive about male victims as she is about female ones, as aware of female predation as male predation.
Which, as I'll probably keep saying till I'm sure everybody's got it, the only chance we have of eradicating sexual violence is to prevent all of it, all forms of perpetration, and all forms of perpetrators.
Aside: STFU concludes her piece by jumping hard on the person who raised the objection: "You’re not going to turn an anti-sexual violence campaign that’s about encouraging people to care about whether or not everyone in their group is having fun and enjoying themselves into some kind of fedora-wearing misogynistic bullshit about “needing to protect women from themselves” because it’s readily obvious that’s not what the campaign is about if you have half a fucking brain cell." Ouch! But then he or she really is missing the point of the poster campaign. And/or making the gross assumption that only women screw up.... And that protecting women screw-ups from predators is also preventing them from "learning their lessons." Screw that!
Aside #1: No two ways about it, that "we shouldn't keep 'screw-up' women from learning their lessons" is a really nasty, thuggish attitude. Because think about it: which is worse, "coddling" someone who's isolated or intoxicated to the point of vulnerability? Or coddling the predators by approving the "lessons" they mete out to their victims?
Aside #2: My only real complaint is that while the complainer sure sounds like a misogynist and an anti-feminist there's only a 50/50 chance he or she was a "fedora-wearer" (a.k.a. MRA) and not an anti-feminist woman like Laura Ingraham, Christina Hoff Sommers, Heather Mac Donald, Camille Paglia, etc., who really do "privilege" women by arguing they should 'get what they deserve' in a way different from what men should get. When, as so many of us including STFU are trying hard to get across, is that passed out and/or otherwise vulnerable men are roughly as liable to experience sexual violence as women. Aside from occasional lip service, what befalls men is completely inconsequential, incidentally, to anti-feminists and misogynists of pretty much all stripes. And that, in turn, is yet another reason I strongly prefer feminist and feminist-leaning approaches to MRA or anti-feminist ones.